Unhinged
by My Heroine
Summary: Everything was inked on to her. A reminder that promises are broken, people get hurt, and everybody lies. But when Bella encounters Edward Cullen at Cambridge Psychiatric Hospital, everything she knows will fall apart so better things can fall together. AH OOC. REPOSTING
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: Hi everyone! I've finally gotten the will to write again, so I've decided to try reposting unhinged and see how everyone likes it! Make sure to leave some reviews!**

**Isabella**

_Vile. Repulsive. Worthless. Chaotic. Toxic. Insane. Unstable. Volatile. Hideous. Useless. Empty. Hollow. Unhinged._

These were all very good words to describe me. My fingers gripped the knob of the shower, twisting it until it was on full blast. Steam spewed from over the top of the shower curtain, quickly fogging up the mirror that hung above the vanity. I stepped into the scalding hot water, hissing slightly as it came in contact with the raw flesh on my ribs.

The black ink was still red and raw around the edges. The letters swirled and twisted around my torso in an elegant, beautiful script. This would be my note. There wasn't going to be a long, drawn out letter that would make everything worse instead of better. There wasn't going to be a tape recorder waiting to be listened to. Just the ink.

_Goodbye_

It was all I needed to say.

I grabbed the rusty razor blade from its hiding place taped under the lip of the bath tub. The water splashed off of it and if I wasn't so numb, I might have felt wonder at the sight. I put the blade to the skin of my wrist and cut vertically along the vibrant blue vein in my arm. The blood poured from my wrist and I instantly felt light headed. I sat down on the floor of the shower and cut along another vein; desperate to black out, to die, _something_ to escape this empty feeling. For once it seemed like that higher power somewhere was on my side because soon I was floating into a black abyss, my eyes closed and a real smile on my face for the first time in years.

"Alice. Do you know what any of the tattoos are supposed to mean?" a soft, reassuring filled voice floated into my subconscious.

"Well, obviously the new one is about her… killing herself." Alice's voice was sad and lost. Like she didn't know what to do anymore.

"Well that one is pretty obvious, but the other ones. What do they mean? I know you know what they are Ali." The voice sounded frustrated now, but it was still smooth and soft.

"I can't tell you that dad. They're her stories to tell, not mine." I heard a huff of anger. "What I can tell you however that is once she's out of here she's going to get a new one." I wanted to glare at Alice. My eyes fluttered open and they instantly shut again. _Why the fuck is it so goddamn bright?_

"Bella? Are you awake?" I dared open my eyes once more and let my eyes adjust to the harsh fluorescent lighting. I looked around, confused by all the machines and the ugly neutral colors.

"Where the fuck am I?" My voice was raspy and horrible sounding, like I had been screaming for days.

"You're in the hospital Bella. You almost bled to death in that shower." Ali's sad voice directed my eyes to the corner of the room where she was standing by a tall, blonde doctor who I assumed was her father from the conversation that I had overheard.

"That was the fucking point." I growled, my agitation escalating. Why couldn't people just fucking let me be? I _wanted_ to die. I didn't _want_ to be saved. Everyone was being so selfish. Just because _they_ wanted me to stick around and be their token bitch, doesn't mean that _I _wanted to stick around and suffer for their entertainment. Alice flinched at the malice and anger in my voice.

"But Bella-" I cut her off before she could say anything else.

"Didn't you think that maybe I wanted that Alice? Maybe I didn't want to sit around like a fucking living breathing pity party. I wanted to leave. I didn't want to remember anymore." I shouted. I reached toward the side table and pushed the lamp and telephone off of it. I kicked and screamed at the top of my lungs, my back arcing off the bed. Pain ripped through my chest but my arms were being held down. I needed to hold myself together; I needed to keep myself in one piece.

"Let me go!" I screamed, my voice seemed to echo but no one else heard me.

"This is for your own good Bella." I heard Alice's sad voice; I felt her hand stroke my hair away from my face as something sharp pricked the crook of my elbow and everything once again black.

"Bella? Are you awake? Bella?" Alice's voice permeated through the haze clouding my brain. I tried to reach out to find her but my arms felt heavy.

"Ali?" my voice sounded sluggish. What the fuck had these people given me?

"I'm here Bella." She cooed softly. Her hand was smoothing back my hair gently. It was almost as if she were afraid to break me. I hated when people did that.

"Bella Boo? Are you awake?" Stupid fucking Emmett. Stupid fucking brother. I cracked one eye open only to see his face merely inches from mine. My hand instinctively curled into a fist and went to punch him in the face but something held my hand back. I lifted my head slightly and glanced down at my hand.

_Holy shit._

There were leather straps holding my hands and feet against the bed.

"Get them off." My voice was dull, monotone.

"Sorry Bella, but they said we couldn't. They said you had to stay in them. They don't want you hurting yourself." Alice's voice was sympathetic and sorry at the same time. I hated that shit.

"Are you _fucking_ with me? Get these things the _fuck_ off me right now or so help me god-"

"I'm sorry Miss. Swan, but we can't do that." That dumbass doctor Alice calls a dad is back. Fuck.

"Take them off." I demanded, my tone leaving no room for argument.

"No." I was livid. I screamed and tugged on the straps, andeven though they were padded, I still managed to rub my wrists raw enough to where they started to bleed.

"Bella! Calm down Bella Boo!" Emmett's hands held my body in place, while Alice sat on my legs. "Bella, they said you can leave… if you go to Cambridge first." He flinched away like he was expecting me to hit him. Dumbass. I was strapped to the fucking bed like a goddamn loon.

"No fucking way am I going to the nut house." I sneered. I could feel Dr. Cullen's eyes on me, gauging my every reaction and word.

"Bella..." I turned to Alice, waiting for her to defend my choice, but instead of acceptance, I saw reluctance. My heart suddenly burst into a sprint. What the fuck was going on? "Bells, I really think that you should do this. You've been through a lot. It might feel good to talk about it. And you never know, you might just end up happy." She was pleading. She knew I could never deny her something when she gave me that look, but that didn't mean I was ever going to get over her doing this to me.

"I'm never going to forgive you guys for ganging up on me." I felt like a fucking failure all over again. I couldn't even win an argument when it came to my own life. What else was fucking new?

Alice smiled weakly at me; she knew how well I could hold a grudge first hand. There was a time when she had convinced me to go on a blind date and it ended up being one of the worst nights of my life. I didn't talk to her for almost 6 months. She knew how long this dry spell was going to last. She had just destroyed ever semblance of trust that was left in our friendship.

"You won't regret it Bella." Emmett placed a hand on my shoulder, and I shied as far away from him as the restraints would allow.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me!" I hissed as venomously as I possibly could. My eyes narrowed into slits, glaring. "You were supposed to be my Brother Bear, but you're just as bad as the rest of them." I shouted the last part knowing that it would cause optimum damage.

"Wh- what did you say?" He stuttered weakly, his eyes filling with tears.

"You fucking heard me. You're just as bad as the rest of them. Why don't you go back to ignoring my existence and go fuck your girlfriend." I sneered.

Emmett flinched back like he had been electrocuted. "Bells, how can you say that? You know you're the most important person in my life. You're my baby sister."

"Get out of here." I said, my voice void of all emotion.

"Bella-" I turned my glare to him, and he once again flinched away from me.

"What the fuck don't you understand? Get the fuck out of my face! You're dead to me." Emmett nodded lightly, tears spilling from his eyes.

"I love you Bella Boo. You know I'm doing this because I care about you." He reached out to pat my shoulder but thought better of it and walked out of the room without casting me another glance.

I turned to face Dr. Cullen. His eyes were on mind. "Get the fuck out. You got what you wanted." I tried to keep the sobs at bay. I couldn't let anyone know how much I was hurting. "You too Alice." I bit my lip in an attempt to keep the tears inside. Dr. Cullen looked as though he was going to protest, but Alice shoved him out the door before he spoke another word.

"I'm sorry Bella." She said morosely before stepping out and pulling the door shut behind her. As soon as the door clicked shut I screamed. I sobbed and let the tears flow freely down my face, not that I could hide them if I wanted too, my hands were still strapped to the goddamn bed. I sobbed for what felt like hours before my tears finally seemed to dry up.

Tomorrow they would come to take me to Cambridge. Tomorrow I would be sleeping in a fucking nut house. Tomorrow I would hit rock bottom one more time.

**Edward**

"Edward Cullen. Your Doctor Cullen is here to visit." Aw hell. He knew I didn't want him here. Why the fuck does he keep coming back? I huffed and walked out to the community room, which is where we had to be with our visitors. We weren't allowed to take anyone into our rooms. They probably thought we were going to slit their throats or hold them hostage or some crazy shit, and we weren't even the crazy people ward, we were just _emotionally disturbed_. I snorted at the thought.

As I approached him he got off one of the plastic covered couches and went to shake my hand or pull me into some kind of stupid man-hug. Fuck that.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked as I sat in an armchair. My father sighed and pulled a hand down his face, obviously frustrated. _Join the club asshole._

"I have a patient… she tried to kill herself, but it's obvious that her problems are much deeper rooted than just a petty argument with her friends or a boyfriend or something like that. I was talking to her brother, and he let slip that she… tattoos horrible events of her life onto her skin." His eyes seemed to glaze over as he thought about some of the designs or some shit.

"What the hell does this shit have to do with me?" I asked, growing agitated with his presence.

"She's coming here, and I was hoping you could keep a close eye on her for me. Teach her the ropes, you know?" his eyes held so much goddamn hope that I couldn't help but fuck it up.

"She asked to come here?" I asked, faking curiosity. I knew this would strike a nerve.

"Well, not exactly…" he trailed off, his eyes darting away from mine.

"What happened then?" I was growing agitated, he could tell.

"She was very uncooperative when she first woke up from the anesthesia. She kept yelling at Alice-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, you mean _our_ Alice?"

"What other Alice do we both know Edward?" he asked sarcastically, and I shot him a warning look.

"Anyway, she kept saying that she had honestly wanted to die. That she didn't want to remember anymore. She got so out of hand that we had to sedate her. While she was out I talked to her only living family, her older brother, and Alice. I told them that I thought she should seek treatment for depression and other mental disorders. They were very apprehensive at first, they wanted to talk to Bella about it but I managed to get them to agree that it was for the best. When she woke up, she was strapped to her bed." He shook his head, his eyes holding disappointment. "Her brother… he told her that she needed to go to Cambridge," I flinched at the mention of this hell hole's name. "and she went berserk. She eventually agreed after Alice and her brother, Emmett, used basically used psychological warfare."

"You forced her in here. You left her no other fucking choice." I ground out through my clenched teeth.

"It's the only way she's ever going to get better Edward." He tried to reason, his hands wrung together nervously.

"Yeah, that's what you said about me, and guess what? I've been suck in this goddamn hell hole for three fucking years." I got up and started pacing. This wasn't fair to this girl. It was her fucking life. "You're a goddamn manipulative asshole, you know that?" I asked him, and his chin fell to his chest. I stared at him, disgusted. "Get the fuck out of here." I finally said. I started to walk off but his words stopped me.

"Will you watch out for her?" his voice was weak, defeated. I turned around to face him, gauging his expression.

"Fine, but I'm not doing this because you asked me. I'm doing it because she's going to need someone who knows what the fuck it feels like to be forced into doing something you don't want." I told him, before stalking my way back into my room.

She came the next morning, bright at early. I heard all the security gates buzzing, and the sounds of the nurse's excited chatter. How the fuck can you be excited about someone coming to a mental institution for trying to kill herself and for having a horrible, fucked up life?

I stepped out into the hallway and watched the main entrance door where she was going to be coming from. It seemed like hours, when in reality it was only minutes before the knob turned and she stepped inside.

Fuck. Me.

She was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. She had long chestnut hair that was tied into a ponytail, and a plain white tank top that showed off her shoulders and a small strip of skin at the small of her back. I could see the tattoos my dad was talking about. There was one on the side of her neck that looked like some sort of bird or something. I could see a jagged, angry looking tattoo poking out of the top of her tank top, and there was something on the small of her back.

Then she turned around and my breath caught in my throat once again. Her eyes were large and almond shaped. The pools of brown were so deep I was sure I was going to drown in them. Her nose was small and slightly upturned and her bottom lip just slightly bigger than the top, perfect in its imperfection. I could see another couple of tattoos on her hips. I looked up from her waist to her face, only to catch her looking right into my eyes. They held so much sadness and anxiety that it nearly broke my heart.

She quickly looked away and followed a nurse who was ushering her into a room near the end of the hallway. I glanced at the number. Angela's room, good. I nodded slightly to myself and walked into the community room. I sat down on one of the couches next to the small raven haired girl.

"Hey Ang." I said casually, toying with the plastic medical wristband I kept on at all times, a reminder that I couldn't trust anyone. She turned to me and smiled, her eyes sparkling.

"Do you need something Edward?" she asked politely as she put her pencil behind her ear.

"I see you've got a new roommate." I stated, watching her face for some sort of weird reaction.

"Oh! She's here?" She jumped up and the pencil fell, clattering to the floor. "I wanted to be in the room when she got here!"

"Why?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow.

"You know, to make her feel welcome." She smiled weakly. I nodded and Angela quickly trotted off in the direction of her room.

"Hey Ang." I called after her, and she turned to me once more.

"Yeah?"

"Please… Be careful with her." I said softly. Her eyebrows knitted together, but she nodded all the same before once again heading off to her room.

"Let the games begin." I said grimly while picking the pencil up off the floor and walking back to my room.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: Hey everyone! Here is the repost of chapter 2! Please tell me what you think!**

_Edward_

Three days ago. Three goddamn days ago. That was the last time she had come out of that fucking room. Every day at group and meal times the nurses would try to coax Miss. Isabella from her hiding place. Every day they ended up taking a tray of food to her room. Every day they would walk out with it full.

This was getting insane. I heard some of the nurses talking about the feeding tube. I couldn't let that shit happen to her.

So I marched right up to her room and just fucking walked right in. She was sitting on the bed on the far left. She was staring blankly at the empty wall, her fingers splayed across a tattoo on her chest.

The ink was beautiful and realistic. The stitches of an autopsy cut splitting open, her sternum cracked, her heart spilling from her chest.

"How the fuck did I not see that shit when you came in?" Shit. My verbal filter had gone MIA.

Her eyes snapped to mine and I noticed the glisten of unshed tears in them. Her arm quickly went behind her back, hiding the bandages encasing her forearm. Shit, she thought I was talking about her cuts.

"Not those. I've seen and had plenty of them. I'm talking about the ink." She slowly pulled her arm back out and touched her chest again.

"Oh." She had a voice like fucking wind chimes. She made that single syllable sound like goddamn perfection.

"Why'd you get it?" I blurted out. Way to be subtle Eddie.

I was as subtle as a fucking gun.

Her eyes widened at my question and tears spilled onto her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Bella! I didn't know!" I was a fucking filthy liar. Of course I knew the tattoos were a touchy subject. Carlisle was trying to pry it from her so it had to be interesting. She took a few deep, calming breaths before focusing back on me.

"How do you know my name?"

"Everyone knows you name, Bella." Her eyes narrowed venomously, startling me.

"That's a fucking lie. Everyone has been calling me by my full name since I got here. I haven't told a fucking soul that I prefer Bella." Her voice was fraught with suspicion. Apparently for good reason too. She should be a goddamn detective or some shit.

Regardless, I was royally fucked. I couldn't exactly tell her I was Carlisle's mole.

"Alice." My mouth said the name before my mind even registered the thought. "Alice told me you preferred to be called Bella."

"How do you know Alice?" Back to the narrowed eye shit.

"Alice is my sister." Her jaw dropped at my confession like I had just told her I had violently murdered someone 30 seconds ago.

"_You're_ Edward?"

"No, I'm her _other _fucked in the head brother. Yes I'm Edward." I snapped. Her eyes instantly dropped to the itchy as shit comforter on her bed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." She looked back up at me as a soft blush slowly crept up her cheeks.

"It's okay. I'm used to it." She said softly. There it was; clue number one to the enigma that was Bella Swan. Her eyes darkened once she had realized she slipped up. "So Edward Cullen, brother of Alice Cullen, son of Carlisle Cullen-" her eyes flashed dangerously at the mention of my father's name "-how did you end up in the nut house?"

I bristled. Way to beat around the fucking bush Swan. Her eyes widened in fear once she looked at my face.

"Oh man. Fuck. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked like that." Tears welled up in her chocolaty brown eyes.

"No, it's not your fault. It's just a sore subject." I mumbled, and she nodded in understanding.

"You can sit down you know. I'm not going to go crazy and sexually assault you or something." I smirked and her face turned the most brilliant shade of red. "I mean, not that you aren't cute enough for me to want to sexually assault or anything, it's just, I don't… I mean-"

I laughed lightly at her apparent lack of verbal filter. "Bella, it's okay." I said, which only caused her blush to intensify. I sat down at the end of her bed, my back rested against the wall.

"So if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" I asked, pulling a cigarette from my shirt pocket, and a lighter from my flannel pants.

"She seemed distracted when she answered, "I'm going to be twenty tomorrow. Should you have a lighter?" I choked on the smoke I had just inhaled. She was only 19? What the fuck had she gone through so early in her life?

"Yeah, as long as the nurses don't know I have it, I'm good." I said calmly. She smiled mischievously.

"So how old are you?" She asked excitedly; probably glad to be onto a topic that didn't freak one or both of us out.

"I turned 24 in June." I let out a gust of smoke filled air slowly, and Bella eyed it warily from where she sat. "Ever smoked before?" I asked before taking another pull off the cigarette. She shook her head. Her hair, dirty from not washing it for days, fell into her face. "Want to try?" I asked, smirking at her stunned expression. After a moment she nodded hesitantly.

I held it out to her and she took it carefully. like it was made of fine china or some shit and she took a tentative drag off of it.

Almost immediately her eyes widened and started to water. She pulled the cigarette away from her mouth and handed it back to me before erupting in a fit of coughs. I laughed once she was calmed down enough to breathe properly.

"Not bad for your first time." I smirked at her and a blush raced across her cheeks, her eyes incredulous.

"If that was 'not bad' then I'm never going to risk doing a horrible job. I'm just gunna quit while I'm ahead." I laughed lightly at her antics, feeling happier than I had in years.

Then it got fucking ruined.

"Isabella, are you going to come down to dinner today?" Nurse Shithead glanced between the two of us suspiciously.

Bella's wide, frightened eyes landed on mine, questioning me on what she should do. I smiled reassuringly at her, and she seemed to relax slightly.

"If you go, I'll go." She finally decided, her deep, probing brown eyes boring into my own. I nodded to the nurse, telling her we would be out in a little while.

"Do you want to shower first?" I asked, and she smiled sheepishly before nodding. "I'll wait for you in the community room." I told her softly before standing up and walking away.

"So Edward, what do you think of Isabella?" Angela accosted me before my ass was even in one of the hard, uncomfortable armchairs. I shrugged.

"She seems okay, we didn't get to talk much."

"Did you see all of her tattoos? Crazy huh?" Her eyes were alight with curiosity.

"I only saw the ones on her chest and neck." I hedged, keeping my answers curt and to the point. If Bella ever saw fit to tell me what all of her tattoos meant, I sure as fuck wasn't going to tell anyone. They were her stories to tell, not mine.

Angela seemed to have sensed my reluctance on the subject because she stopped asking questions about her roommate. As I waited for Bella I watched the static-y TV. A new episode of House M.D. was on. He was in a mental hospital. I couldn't focus on the show though. The only thing I could think of was Bella in the shower, and fuck me if that wasn't one of the hottest things I'd ever fantasized about.

Just as I was picturing the way the water would flow in the valley between her breasts, I felt a hand fall onto my shoulder, forcing me back into times I would rather not remember.

"_Edward! Get the fuck in here!" I bit my bottom lip roughly. Daddy was drinking again. He was always mean when he drank._

_I walked from the kitchen to the living room cautiously, as if there was an active bomb waiting for me in there._

"_Yes daddy?" I trained my eyes on the form poured onto the recliner. He had a beer in one hand, and the TV remote in the other. His own angry eyes were watching a show about a happy family._

"_What were you up to today?" his voice was leveled and carefully controlled. It scared me. He was looking for a reason to snap._

"_I played at Ben's house." It wasn't a total lie. Ben and I __**had **__been playing, just not at his house. We were setting off fire crackers down by the lake. Ben had almost scorched one of his eyebrows off with the matches._

_My father's hand was suddenly heavy and hard, gripping my shoulder much too tightly. His breath reeked of alcohol when he spoke, his eyes were wild._

"_Don't you fuckin' lie to __**me **__boy."_

My body shook violently as I clawed my way out of the nightmare. The hand was gone from my shoulder but I could still feel my father's searing my skin.

"Edward? Are you okay?" Bella's soft voice asked me, and my brain finally seemed to register the fact that her face was merely a foot from my own, I smirked at her, but it was weak. I hoped she didn't notice. She smiled back just as weakly. I guess she was a lot more observant than I gave her credit for.

"I'm just fine Swan. Ready to eat?" I clapped my hands together, and Bella jumped slightly at the loud noise.

"Ye-yeah." She stuttered after a moment. Fuck, she must have been through some fucked up shit. Where the fuck was this so called brother when all of this shit went down?

Once we were in the cafeteria and seated with our food, I started schooling her on the Cliques of Cambridge.

"You see those girls over there? The ones that are all skin and bones? Those are the eating disorder girls. Those kids over there with all the black hair and shit? The 'emo' kids. That corner over there is reserved for all the _really _fucked up kids, most of them don't talk at all. The people over there are the ones with the really entertaining phobias. The really loopy people are over by that wall-"

"Are they the ones that are eating the grapes off the wallpaper?" What the fuck?

"What?" I asked, filtering slightly.

"Haven't you ever seen Girl, Interrupted before?" Her head tilted to the side slightly. I snorted.

"No." Her cheeks were instantly stained pink, and she shoved a forkful of food into her mouth.

"So what table are we?" she asked.

"We're the misfits. We don't really have a specific group." I shrugged.

"Hey Edward, can I ask you something that's kind of personal?" She trapped her bottom lip between her teeth nervously.

I nodded cautiously. "Sure."

"How long have you been here?" Her question came out rushed and quiet. I almost didn't hear it. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I've been here for three years." While I expected her reaction to be one of shock, she surprised me. Her eyes seemed saddened by my omission.

After a moment of awkward silence I cleared my throat and stood, carrying my empty tray to the garbage and walking out, not even bothering to wait for Bella even though being in the cafeteria had clearly bothered her. I didn't need her pity and I sure as hell didn't need her hanging around with me.

But I wanted her to. God did I want her to.

_Isabella _

He left me. Alone. In the middle of a crowded cafeteria. My heart rate started to climb as my eyes darted around. I felt a droplet of sweat work its way from the back of my neck down to between my shoulder blades. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I suddenly let loose.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. The hand flew off my shoulder but it was too late, I was already encased in a torrent of violent, painful memories.

His hands were everywhere all at once. My back, my hips, my throat, my face. I could feel his hot break in my ear, smell the vodka through his pores.

"Isabella! Miss. Swan! We don't want to sedate you, but we will if we have to!" It was a man, he was touching me and yelling at me. I screamed louder, kicked harder. I wouldn't let him do this to me again.

I felt a sharp poke in the crook of my elbow, and I let out a violent shriek, my back arched off the floor- how did I get there?- before I slumped into a heap on the linoleum.

This was indefinitely worse to me than the kicking and screaming. Now it was like I was trapped in my own body. I was still angry and scared, but now there was nothing I could do. He could come and get me and hurt me and I wouldn't be able to do a thing about it.

They carried me gently through what Edward had called the community room. I felt everyone's eyes watching my limp body, but my eyes only saw him.

He was standing in a corner, his hand pulled part way through his messy bronze locks. His lips were pressed into a thin line and his other hand was balled into a fist at his side. I chanced a look at his emerald green orbs and if I could, I would have recoiled in fear.

Disgust, loathing, disappointment. All of those emotions stared right into my face. I should have known it wouldn't last long, his kindness based on sympathy and curiosity.

I felt tears well up in my eyes and I blinked slowly in an attempt to clear them. I felt the waterworks cascade down my cheeks and I went to look at Edward once more, but he was gone. Strangely enough my heart ached to see him.

The nurses put me in a white padded room. If I wasn't so scared and if I could move I would have laughed. They closed the door and the silence was instantly overwhelming. I hadn't realized how used to the dim murmur of the hospital's daily workings I had become used to until it was taken away from me.

Soon enough my neck started to ache from being still for so long. My legs started falling asleep. There were no windows in the room, so I couldn't even estimate the time.

Finally, after what seemed like years, my body finally started to respond to what I told it to. My fingers twitched, my toes wiggled. Then soon enough I was up and pacing around the room.

The walls felt too close, my breathing accelerated.

Then they turned off the lights.

I broke out into a cold sweat and screamed. "Let me out!" I begged as the memories crept up on me. "Please, please let me out of here! Don't let them get me! Don't let them take me!" I begged, slamming my fists against the padded door, but it was already too late.

"_Oh Bella, thank you so much for setting everything up for us. It means a lot that you wanted to make you dad and my anniversary so special." I smiled. I loved doing things for my mother. I don't think she realized that I had always been more the parent in our family dynamic than she had._

"_It's no problem mom. You know I would do anything for you." I replied softly._

"_What the hell? Why does it smell like a goddamn candle shop in our house?" Ah Emmett._

"_Watch your mouth Emmett!" Renee yelled as my brother walked into the kitchen. He reached to pick one of the chocolate chips off the cake I had made, and I quickly slapped his hand with the spatula._

"_Don't even think about it Brother Bear." I warned, and his hands flew into the air in surrender._

"_You don't have a problem with me boss lady." He teased, and we both laughed. I walked over to the freezer and went to pull out the vanilla ice cream only to find it was missing. I quickly spun around and faced Emmett._

"_You didn't!" I shouted incredulously, and a blush crept up his neck. I went to grab the spatula to whack him with it once again but my mother grabbed it before I could._

"_It's okay Bella, your father and I will just take you to the store. You said you needed a couple more things anyway right?" I glared at Emmett for a little while longer before nodding to my mother._

"_I guess so." I said grudgingly before stalking off to my room and shoving my boots onto my feet._

"_He better not have eaten any of that cake or I'll kick his ass. I don't care how much bigger than me he is!" I said loudly in the back seat of the car, the carton of vanilla ice cream cradled in my lap. Charlie gave me a stern look in the rearview mirror._

_I opened my mouth to apologize for cursing when there was a sudden crash, the sound of twisting metal pierced the air, my mother's pained scream melted together with the harsh noise. The world seemed to spin on its axis, sending me upside down and sideways. And then it was over. The clinking sound of cooling metal and dripping car fluids was the only sound left._

"_Mommy? Daddy?" I hadn't called either of them such childish names in years. When they didn't respond, I tried again. "Charlie? Daddy? Are you awake? Mommy!" I cried. They wouldn't find our car for hours. By time I woke up, they were gone._

I awoke from my memory induced stupor to find myself rubbing the gun tattoo on my ribs. I pulled my hands away like I had been burned. The bird tattoo on my neck itched.

I scratched at it desperately, trying to make it feel better even though I knew it was useless. Nothing could make this feel better. It was like there were ants crawling under my skin. If they would just let me out of this tiny quiet room I would feel so much better. This place wasn't helping anything; it only gave me a chance to think about everything I had done wrong in my life, everything that had _gone _wrong in my life. The memories clawed their way to the edges of my sanity, desperate to make their way out. It felt like someone had torn a huge hole in my chest. The edges burned and scorched and stung, the inside left me feeling empty, void, and numb.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. I needed to get out. I would go totally insane if they didn't let me go, then there would be a real reason to have me thrown in this hell hole.

"Emmett! I need Emmett!" I slammed my fists on the floors, the walls and the door. I needed my big brother, I needed him to save me, even if I acted like I didn't. "Please! Just bring me Emmett!" I sobbed uncontrollably, Emmett's name falling from my lips like a prayer. After an hour of begging for my brother I realized it wasn't his name I was chanting over and over again anymore.

It was Edward's.

I was unsure of how many days had passed. They shut off the lights sometimes but it didn't help me sleep, it only heightened my paranoia and insomnia. The dark scared me. Things could be lurking in the dark corners. _He _could be lurking in the dark corners.

Three times a day, they shoved a tray of unappealing food into my room, and they always ended up collecting the full tray a few hours later.

There was a fog covering my mind. I didn't care though. It was there to protect me from myself. It made me constantly tired, but it always kept me awake. I loved the numb relief the fog always brought with it.

I felt like months had gone by when my door was finally slammed open. I glanced up, only slightly aware that the action was abnormal.

Emmett.

Emmett was standing in the doorway in all of his huge, furious glory. His head whipped to the side to face the nurse who was suddenly beside him. Emmett's eyes were blazing and furious, his top lip curled in disgust and contempt.

"How fucking long has she been in this goddamn room." He growled, and the nurse cringed.

"F-four days." Her fingers twisted together in a complicated looking know.

"Can't you people fucking read? Her medical file clearly states she is claustrophobic and nyctophobic. This room does anything _but _help her." He rushed to my side and scooped my up delicately, as if I were made from spun glass. He carried me through the community room and I saw him.

_Edward._

My mind seemed jolted alive by his presence. My skin tingled at the sight of him. I squirmed in Emmett's arms, trying to escape his painfully delicate iron grip. My mind only registered him. My eyes only saw Edward. He was the only important thing, he was the only person that mattered. He was the one who made the pain stop, who made everything feel good.

Emmett set me down gently and I raced to take a step forward, only to stumble a little the lack of food making me weaker than I had thought. Once I was righted and stable I ran. I ran towards Edward and right before I crashed into his unmoving body his arms opened and welcomed me against his warm body.

"Edward, Edward, Edward." His name came through my lips without my permission. His arms held me tightly as he dared, almost as if he thought I was going to disappear. "I'm sorry. I know you think I'm disgusting and that you hate me, but thank you." I sighed, completely content.

He pulled away from me and gave me a probing, questioning look. "What the hell made you think that?" he asked, the pain clear as day in his voice.

"When they were carrying me through here the day I met you, it was in your eyes." I replied softly, shamefully.

"Bella, I was angry with myself. I had betrayed your trust. You were only in the cafeteria because I had dragged you-"

"Followed." I breathed, taking in his smell. "I followed you there." He gave me a stern look before continuing.

"Bella, when they carried you out of the cafeteria, it nearly killed me to see you so drugged up and knowing it was my fault. Then you started screaming in that room. It was the most god awful noise I've ever heard." He cringed, his voice laced with pain. I pressed my face into his broad chest.

"Edward." I sighed his name, completely happy in this moment.

Then Emmett did what he did best. He interrupted.

"Edward, this is my brother, Emmett." Edward scowled at Em, his eyes narrowed. They shook hands, but only briefly. Shit they hated each other already.

"Come on Brother Bear, take me to my room." I glanced at Edward as I extracted myself from his arms. He had a pained look on his face as he watched me walk away from him. I stopped abruptly.

"Can I stop by your room later?" I asked cautiously. I didn't want to push my limits with him. He smiled brightly.

"Of course you can Bella." He sighed before I walked away.

**a/n: Make sure to tell me what you think!**


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